JOHN : I’ve got a bone to pick with you!
CLERK : Me, Sir?
JOHN : Yes, you! I beg your pardon!
CLERK : Well, if it isn’t you, it’s someone in this firm.
JOHN : It was a man with red hair!
MARIA : Ah! You must be talking about Mr. Maddox!
CLERK : If you’ll be kind enough to wait a moment, I’ll fetch him.
MARIA : Well, really! Who does he think he is?
JOHN : I’ll get my deposit back if it’s the last thing I do.
MR. MADDOX : Oh, good evening Mr. and Mrs. Sallis. I gather there’s been some little difficulty.
MARIA : Little difficulty!
JOHN : I like that! We’ve been defrauded!
MR. MADDOX : Defrauded. Are you accusing me?
JOHN : Yes, Mr. Maddox, I am!
MR. MADDOX : Well, of all the nerve! Look!
MARIA : Don’t try any nonsense with us!
JOHN : We’ve just about had enough!
MR. MADDOX : Enough of what? You haven’t even told me what’s happened! You just come here and start shouting your heads off!
JOHN : Shouting our heads off! How dare you!
MR. MADDOX : Look here! You’ve got nothing to complain about. We’re offering you a lovely house at a very good price.
MARIA : Lovely? Are you being funny?
JOHN : Murderers. Pirates.
MR. MADDOX : Murderers. Pirates. This is really going too far! Have you gone off your head? I’ll have you know that that is defamation.
JOHN : I don’t care what it is…
MR. MADDOX : Ah, Mr. Roper. (To the Sallises) This is our general manager …
MR. ROPER : What on the earth’s going on, Maddox? I’ve never heard such a noise….
BARBARA : This gentleman has cheated us!
MR. ROPER : Cheated you?
JOHN : It’s true. We’ve been tricked. Now, please… (Door opens) Oh, good evening Mr. and Mrs. Middleton.
MRS. MIDDLETON : We’ve come here to make a serious complaint.
MR. ROPER : No. Not another one.
MR. MIDDLETON : An example of the most extraordinary in- efficiency.
MRS. MIDDLETON : Believe it or not, gentlemen, the house you sent us to see has disappeared!
MR. MIDDLETON : And been replaced by a large but very com- monplace building.
MRS. MIDDLETON : We gave you a deposit for this beautiful house,
JOHN : full of wonderful carvings… Oh no!
MARIA : Oh, you idiot, Mr. Maddox! You’ve mixed up the addresses!
JOHN : Really! What incompetence!
